Cannabis Changed My Life & Gave Me One

I never set out to be in cannabis—it called to me.

I used it, of course. My first time I was around 13 years old. I don't remember specifics—there were too many lost days from those years. It could have been a bedroom or a street corner. I was known to sleep on the latter like the former during those years, and for a few after.

I’ve always said the Oakland Greyhound Station was the safest place to sleep... not safe, but safest. The park in downtown Santa Cruz was another favorite, but only in the warmest months. The fog makes it too wet to sleep on the benches long. The people were friendlier there, and that's where I learned to panhandle.

From Group Homes to Goals

I bounced between parents, then strangers, then juvenile halls, and eventually group homes. The last group home taught me I had the power to change my future by letting go of my past. It was the first of many times I put that philosophy into action.

Back then, my goal was to be "normal"—or as much as I could be. I got good grades, dated the best boys, and learned to be popular so I could be seen that way.

Trying to Be Normal Nearly Broke Me

What I saw as “normal” turned out to be deeply dysfunctional. Years later, another failed relationship made that clear. I missed the red flags for six years. I didn’t realize the man I had raised my daughter with was suffering from paranoid delusion until it was too late. He had moved out of state and was beyond my ability to help.

It was heartbreaking—for my daughter, who lost a father figure, and for me, who felt blind and stupid for not seeing it sooner.

Motherhood, Trauma, and Anxiety

I became a single mother at 23 on Valentine’s Day, 2001. I knew from the start I’d raise her on my own. Growing up in a home filled with conflict, I didn’t want her to ever feel unwanted. But as parents, we can’t always protect our kids from heartbreak.

My anxiety flared. I stopped trusting myself. The stress showed up everywhere: gallbladder attacks, eczema, migraines, gluten intolerance, PCOS, pre-diabetes. My body felt like a battlefield.

The First Night I Truly Exhaled

One night in late 2015, I smoked half a bowl of indica—and I laughed.

Because it felt foreign. Like the movie. Like Waiting to Exhale was a real thing. And I had been waiting my whole life. I started doing it all the time. It felt like purging.

Finding Movement, Breath, and Relief

A couple years later I found Yin Yoga. I groaned and moaned through the stretches—it felt like I was releasing decades of judgment, shame, and other people’s opinions.

At that time, I didn’t realize cannabis was a thing. That would come later.

My Career Was Growing—But Something Was Missing

I hid in work. I helped grow a small as-built company into an Inc 5000 success. I created systems, trained teams, wore hats in HR, IT, customer service, culture building, recruiting. I loved helping my “Bustas” connect with one another and show up more fully.

But something was missing.

How Cannabis Changed My Life—Without Me Realizing It

In 2019, I began traveling to Utah for work. A place that made me uncomfortable. But I did it anyway. And cannabis helped.

I didn’t fully understand why… until July 17, 2019.

A co-worker invited me to a cannabis event. One of the speakers talked about CRPS and the endocannabinoid system. Wait—what?

One Word Changed Everything: Endocannabinoid

Suddenly, two images appeared in my mind:

1. A prison of metal bars—representing those incarcerated over a plant our bodies need

2. A gilded cage—representing the pressure to perform, to succeed, to be “normal” while grieving silently

That day, I realized: Cannabis had helped me survive. And now it would help me live.

A New Chapter Begins

By then, I had already resigned from my job to start A Curated Culture, my business consultancy. I also wanted to return to the juvenile halls—to tell kids what took me too long to learn:

You are not what happened to you. What happened to you is fuel for your dreams. And your dreams are possible.

Cannabis taught me that.

The Soul Purpose of This Plant

Cannabis taught me to relax, breathe, and trust myself again.

It helped me parent more patiently.

It helped me sleep, digest, and recover.

It reminded me I belong in this world—and that connection is everything.

This plant doesn’t have a sole purpose. It has thousands. And maybe its greatest gift is that it reminds us:

We are all meant to grow.

Looking Back… and Forward

Cannabis didn’t just help me manage anxiety, inflammation, and stress—it gave me back my voice, my confidence, and my sense of purpose.

And I didn’t even know how much it would change my life.

But that’s the beginning of another story—The Canna Boss Babes.And that’s a tale for another post.