Why I’m Calling It the Old Mom Stoner Club
- Ishqa Hillman
- Jan 2
- 3 min read
Destigmatizing Age and Cannabis — Together!
I’ve decided to start a new club and I’m calling it the Old Mom Stoner Club.
I know I know... I'm not old and you don't want to be called old or a stoner - with all it's negative stigma... but hear me out a minute.
Aging Isn’t a Bad Word
I think part of what’s wrong with this world is how ageist it is — the way youth is seen as the ideal of beauty. I’m proud of being older. I’m glad I’ve made it this far and that I’ve overcome all I’ve had to in order to be here. I love that my daughter is an adult, and that her adulthood means that good or bad I did that! She is a quarter of a century in February and I raised her on my own since 2 months pregnant. I did that.
Cannabis Helped Me Come Home to My Body
I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a stoner. Using cannabis has helped me heal — truly. I’ve lost over 100 pounds since I started using it medically. (Gained back 40 in the last 2 years due to perimenopause but we can bitch about that later, or not.) It helped restore my nervous system so my body could heal from a lifetime unknowingly in survival mode. It helped me slow down and listen to my body and it helped me move my body in a way that wasn’t punishing but appreciative — grateful for all it had helped me survive. My body had carried pain from childhood I couldn’t even fully remember. Cannabis gave me back connection to it.
We Still Want to Talk About Our Kids
I got a text recently from my friend, Doreen Sullivan from My BudVase. She’s someone I’ve shared stories about our daughters with over the years. Just simple, sweet sharing — both of us proud of the women our daughters have become. It made me realize how much I want a space for that. A space for moms like us to still talk about our adult kids. To have somewhere to connect, reflect, and relate.
This Phase of Motherhood Is Real Too
There are plenty of mom groups out there — great ones! Some of my favorite are Sabrina Guerrero @wholetmebeamom Bianca Snyder @highsocietymama2.0 Shonitria Anthony @bluntblowinmama and Geli Taase @antisocial.cannamomclub There are a ton of CannaMoms out there but most of them are for moms of younger kids, dealing with diapers and school and mean moms in the PTA. I’m not there anymore. I did all that. I’m in the part of motherhood where the conversations with my daughter are about navigating bad bosses, lazy employees, tax advice, coordinating cat supplies, buying new cars. It’s different, and just as real.
Let’s Support Each Other — Wherever We’re At
Parenting adult children looks different for each of us. Some of our kids are thriving, some are struggling, and some are doing both — depending on the day. Sometimes we’ll show up to celebrate, and other times we’ll just need to vent or ask for help. Hopefully this can be a space where we support each other, where we feel seen in the weird, wonderful, messy phase that is parenting grown humans. And maybe, through that connection, we can help each other — and our kids — thrive.
Come As You Are
I value spaces we can just show up as we are — no pretense or need to be other than we are.
That's Why I’m Calling It the Old Mom Stoner Club
That’s why I’m calling it the Old Mom Stoner Club. I want to reclaim the words old and stoner — not just for myself, but for anyone who needs permission to be proud of both.
Comments